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Fakes - 'You Just Know'

Let me tell you what the hardest obstacle I must overcome with each and every recipe I get taught, apparently, I should ‘just know’.

This is how this particular cooking lesson went.

Mum ‘place lentils in a saucepan and add water’

Me ‘hold on, how much in lentils and how in much water?’

Mum ‘ah yes, sorry, one large cup lentils, same cup 3.5 cups of cold water’

Me ‘ok, cool, carry on’

Mum ‘half, one, or one and a half vegetable stock’

Me ‘wow, hold on, so which one is it, half, one or one and a half?’

Mum ‘ah, it depends how much you’re making’ looking at me with a blank face, like I’m the crazy one.

Me ‘mum, let’s assume I’m making notes on these measures right now, how much stock?’

Mum ‘errrrrmmmm sometimes I put half but sometimes I put one’

Me ‘ok mum, how much you putting in this measure?’

Mum ‘I think the last time I made this I put two.....’

Me ‘aaaaarrrrrgggghhhhhh you’re killing me mum!’

Mum ‘you just know’

FML! No mum, I don’t ‘just know’ just like you didn’t ‘just know’ the first time you cooked this for dad. You nearly poisoned the man. If I recall correctly, he ate two fork fulls, as to not offend you, and you both decided to bin it. You had a fish and chips take away that night and you now refer to that disastrous meal as ‘thilidirio’ the Greek word for poison.


1 Cup Green Lentils

1/4 Cup Pudding Rice

1 Large Onion

1 Vegetable Stock

1/4 Cup Olive Oil

4 Cups Water


Before you begin cooking, work through your dry lentils removing any broken or ill looking ones.

Place lentils into a saucepan adding 3.5 cups of cold water. Set aside half a cup of boiling water and dissolve the vegetable stock adding this too to the lentils. Add the olive oil and bring to a boil.

While this is working towards boiling point, dice the onion.

Once boiled, add the onion and pudding rice turning down to medium heat, stirring occasionally.

The dish is done when the water has been absorbed.


I find that the vegetable stock contains enough salt and additional salt is unnecessary.

If you delay adding the pudding rice, everything else will cook and you will have to add more water for the rice to cook.

This dish is usually eaten with Greek yogurt.

Squeeze some lemon on top and this will increase the iron absorbed into the body.

This is a great dish to serve alone, cold or hot.

Great compliment alongside white fish.


Cost under £5 serves 4 persons.

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